Respecting pronouns is key to inclusion
Pronouns are words like ‘I’, ‘me’, ‘you’, ‘she’, ‘he’, and ‘they’ that we use to refer to ourselves and others. When we use pronouns, they are often gendered – she, her, he, him.
We may unintentionally assume someone’s gender based on their name or appearance, but these assumptions can be harmful for trans, non-binary and gender diverse people. In some cases, this can even discourage them from accessing essential services, such as healthcare, for fear of being treated disrespectfully.
Trying to get pronouns right is about respect and inclusion. When someone shares their pronouns with you, they are letting you know how they would like you to be referred to, so you don’t need to make assumptions.
Using the right pronouns is a simple but powerful way to show respect and create a more inclusive environment for everyone.
Why using the right pronouns is important
Pronouns are connected to a person’s gender identity, which is often an invisible attribute – something you can’t always determine by appearance.
Respecting someone’s pronouns is essential to creating a safe and welcoming space for people of all genders. Using incorrect pronouns, even accidentally, can be hurtful and may signal to trans and gender diverse people that they are not welcome.
Which pronouns should I use?
Gendered pronouns include:
- She/her/hers: Typically used by people who identify as female.
- He/him/his: Typically used by people who identify as male.
Gender neutral pronouns include:
- They/them/theirs: Commonly used by non-binary and gender diverse people, as well as those who prefer not to conform to gendered expectations.
Some people also use neo-pronouns. They can be as an alternative to ‘they’, and include:
- xe/xem/xyr
- ze/hir/hirs
- ey/em/eir
Tip: The simplest way to know which pronouns someone uses is often to ask them.
‘They’ as a singular pronoun
Using ‘they’ as a singular pronoun is grammatically correct and widely accepted by governments, media, and respected dictionaries like the Oxford and Merriam-Webster. While some may think it’s new, ‘they’ has been used in the singular form since the 1300s.
You may even be using it without realising:
- ‘Someone left their phone on the table.’
- ‘Who’s at the door? Oh, it’s Alex – they’re early.’
Supporting the use of pronouns
A simple way to normalise pronoun use is by adding yours to your email signature, regardless of how you identify.
When cisgender people include their pronouns, it shows support for trans, non-binary, and gender diverse people. It signals that pronouns will be respected and encourages others to share theirs safely and confidently.
Including pronouns also helps avoid misgendering and fosters a workplace culture where everyone feels safe to bring their whole selves to work. This is especially important when many LGBTQIA+ people are not completely ‘out’ at work and hiding their identity can cause significant stress.
What else do I need to know about pronouns?
- If you make a mistake: Apologise, correct yourself, and make an effort to get it right next time. Mistakes happen, but consistent misgendering and can be a form of discrimination or harassment.
- Respect privacy: Some people may not use the same pronouns in all settings. Be mindful not to ‘out’ someone to others without their consent.
- Avoid saying ‘preferred pronouns’: This suggests pronouns are a preference rather than a core part of someone’s identity. Instead, ask, ‘What are your pronouns?’ or ‘What pronouns do you use?’.