Information for colleagues: trans and gender diverse co-workers
A trans or gender diverse person may not feel comfortable talking about their gender expression, identity or biological sex with work colleagues or managers. It is usually not necessary to know personal information to support a trans or gender diverse person in the workplace.
On this page:
- Name and pronouns
- The past
- Inappropriate questions
- Jokes
- Gossip
- Same treatment
- Fashion advice
- Emotional support
Name and pronouns
The most important way you can respect your trans or gender diverse colleague is by consistently using their correct name and pronoun. This may be he, she, they or another term. If you make a mistake, don’t make a big deal of it. Apologise and get it right next time.
The past
When you talk about the time before your colleague’s transition, be careful to avoid statements such as ‘when you were a male/female…’ because the person may feel that they have always been their gender and are simply affirming and presenting as their gender now. A name they used to be referred by should also not be used.
If you have a long work history with the person, you may talk about experiences you have shared in the past. The best option is to ask the person how they would like you to refer to them when talking about past events. Another way is to avoid gendering the person at all, by referring to the relevant time instead. For example, ‘In September last year…’ or ‘when you were a child’. Be guided by the words they use when they refer to themself in the past.
Inappropriate questions
Use caution when asking questions about the person’s transition or gender identity. Many topics are not polite to raise in conversation, and they include:
- the person’s body including anatomy;
- whether the person has or intends to have surgery;
- whether the person is on hormone treatment; and
- the person’s sexuality (sexuality is not relevant to gender identity).
Of course, if the trans or gender diverse person raises these issues themself, and is comfortable discussing these topics, that is alright. But as a general rule, ask yourself, ‘Would I ask a cisgender person this question?’
Jokes
Jokes can be discriminatory and cause unintentional harm. A person who is affirming their gender at work may be going through a major, stressful life change. Understandably, they may be sensitive to jokes, especially about anatomy, names, pronouns, style of dress etc. If other people make jokes like that, speak up if you can, and say that those kinds of jokes are not appropriate.
Gossip
Respect your colleague’s privacy by not gossiping about their transition. If there is a new staff member at your workplace, do not ‘out’ your colleague as trans or gender diverse. This is a major breach of trust and privacy.
Same treatment
When a colleague is transitioning, treat the situation as ‘business as usual’.
Your colleague will notice if you start treating them differently after transitioning. Different treatment may simply involve avoiding the person because you feel awkward about the situation.
If you have never known anyone who is trans or gender diverse before and you feel a bit uncomfortable, do your best to continue to treat the person the same way you did before they transitioned. A simple ‘Hi, X how are you?’ (using their correct name) in the hallway helps the person feel validated in their gender.
Fashion advice
In the early days of transition, a person may still be finding their fashion style, or experimenting with different levels of femininity or masculinity in the way they present themself. Even if you are tempted to comment, your colleague may be more sensitive than usual about appearance, and so it is probably better to avoid the topic, unless specifically asked for advice.
Emotional support
Transitioning is a huge step that impacts on every aspect of the person’s life, and work is often the final frontier for a trans or gender diverse person coming out.
Usually a trans or gender diverse person will have expressed themself in their affirmed gender in their private life. Your colleague may have real fears about things going badly at work, and jeopardising their livelihood. It can be hard for trans people to obtain reliable employment after transitioning, so retaining their current job is all the more important to them.
In some cases, if taking hormones, the person may be subject to moderate to severe mood swings, but this will be resolved over time.
Compassion, patience and understanding shown by work colleagues go a long way to supporting a colleague who is transitioning.
