Real life stories
Gillian’s story
This is a real life story. All the names have been changed to protect privacy.
Gillian worked in an administrative role for a large government agency for 10 years. When she started in the role, she presented as a man.
In January, Gillian had a private conversation with her manager, Stephanie, and disclosed that she is a transwoman, identifies as female, and intends to start presenting as female at work. Gillian and Stephanie agreed to meet again to discuss a transition plan.
In early February, Gillian and Stephanie had several planning meetings and included Kristina from HR. In consultation, they set 1 March as the date that Gillian would attend work for the first time presenting as female. Everyone agreed that Gillian would go on leave from 23 February and return to work on 1 March.
Stephanie, Timothy (the director of the branch), and Kristina offered to hold a meeting with the assistance of the Queensland Human Rights Commission, to inform staff of Gillian’s transition. Gillian was happy with this option, but was worried about staff reactions, and said she would prefer not to attend. Gillian offered to make a video of herself presenting as female to familiarise colleagues with the way she will look when she returns to work on 1 March. Everyone agreed that it would be good to play the video at the staff meeting.
In late February while Gillian was on leave, Stephanie organised the following:
- a new photo ID card and security pass;
- intranet and internet access;
- a new email address;
- changes to personnel and HR files; and
- phone calls to internal clients to make them of aware of Gillian as the new contact.
She also met with the head of building security and other service areas to ensure they would be aware of the transition prior to 1 March.
On 24 February, while Gillian was on leave, the staff meeting was held with the following agenda:
- Timothy, the Director, explained the purpose of the meeting, announced her transition to female, and expressed support for Gillian.
- Gillian’s video in which she introduces herself to staff was played. Speakers from the Queensland
- Human Rights Commission explained staff obligations under the Queensland Anti-Discrimination Act 1991. A transgender woman who had transitioned at work spoke to staff, giving a personal account of her experiences.
- Time was allowed at the meeting to ask the speakers questions, and Gillian’s manager Stephanie offered to hold individual private discussions.
- Handouts about transgender issues compiled by Stephanie were given to staff.
Gillian returned to work on 1 March and continued her duties as before. She emailed all staff to thank them for their support, and received many encouraging responses. Stephanie and Gillian have continued to meet to discuss any issues that have come up related to the transition.
Gillian has seen many improvements in her life: confidence, positive relationships, health and outlook since expressing her true self and successfully transitioning in the workplace.
Lily’s story
This is a real life story. All the names have been changed to protect privacy.
Lily is a professional who transitioned from male to female at work. When she started working at her current job, she was presenting as male at work.
Lily had been diagnosed with gender dysphoria in October the previous year, and was undergoing hormone replacement therapy.
In January, Lily confided in her manager Phillip that she identifies as a transgender woman and intended to present as a woman called Lily. At that stage, she had considered ceasing her current role and seeking a new job. She told Phillip that she had been on hormone replacement therapy and having counselling for the last six months. Phillip responded with strong support, relieved that it was now clear what had been causing her low moods and depression over the past year. This encouraged Lily to reconsider her plan, and she decided to transition in her current job.
This was a totally new situation for Phillip to manage, and he asked Lily what her needs would be over the next few months. In response, Lily drafted a formal transition plan, including background information on gender dysphoria, some proposed timelines and relevant medical information. Phillip gratefully accepted this information, and a timeline was agreed, with the date for Lily to start presenting as female at work set for 31 March.
In consultation with Lily, over a period of four weeks Phillip had one-on-one sessions with colleagues to explain that the transition would be occurring. Lily also talked to her colleagues and showed them pictures of how she looked when presenting as female. Phillip always made sure that Lily knew when a one-on-one session would be taking place, and took care to tailor the message depending on the reaction he expected from the particular employee. Phillip explained to employees it might be necessary to cut Lily a bit of extra slack as it would be an emotional time for her.
Lily told Phillip that she would like to use the female toilet on the ground floor, then after a couple of months, use the female toilets on their office floor. This was a decision that Phillip supported.
Lily took a week off and returned on 31 March. Lily’s colleagues showed her overwhelming support and acceptance. Lily was surprised how accepting her colleagues were; and something else happened. People started coming to her in private and confiding in her, disclosing their own hidden issues and fears. Even colleagues with whom she had previously had issues, came forward expressing their regret at past falling-outs and expressing respect for her courage in coming out.
Lily felt liberated because she was finally able to present as her affirmed gender in all aspects of her life.
Eric’s story
This is a real life story. All the names have been changed to protect privacy.
Eric has worked in a retail store for 7 years. He was hired by the company as a female called Linda. After 4 years working at the store, Eric started taking male hormones to begin the transition to male. Eric came out as transgender to a colleague, Jonathon, who he knew would be supportive.
Eric set up a meeting with two of his managers, to discuss his planned transition and requested that Jonathon come along as a support person. Eric found starting the conversation very hard, but finally got the courage to say the words. The managers immediately asked about what name to use, and started using Eric right away. They expressed relief and excitement, and told Eric they felt honoured that this information was shared with them.
In the meeting they also discussed practicalities, including paperwork, obtaining a locker key for the men’s locker room, using the men’s toilet, and providing a new ID badge. Eric and his managers also discussed how the news would be shared with colleagues. The managers’ suggestion was to put it in the newsletter, but Eric said he would prefer to write a letter to the team to be put up on the noticeboard in the tea room.
Eric’s letter contained the following information:
- his new name, and that he would now like to be referred to as ‘he’ and ‘him’;
- that he would be using the men’s toilet from now on;
- an acknowledgement that it may be a bit weird for everyone (including him) to get used to the change initially, but asked everyone to try their best to get his name and pronouns right;
- a request that they not tell new team members when they start that he is transgender.
While Eric was on leave, he requested that his department’s managers inform his colleagues about the transition and refer them to his letter. At the store there were staff working different shifts, so the same message was relayed in the morning meetings every day for a week. In advance, Eric also asked his supportive colleagues who already knew about the transition to speak up for him and answer questions on his behalf.
After transitioning, he found that colleagues did fairly well with his name and pronouns. Although there were slip-ups, he did not feel that these were intentional. He found that external stakeholders such as sales reps did not know about the transition, so to avoid any awkwardness he asked his supportive colleagues to explain his new name and pronouns to them.
Eric feels happy and supported in his role at the retail store and is now a long-term employee. He feels that the workplace has a good culture and is a supportive environment. He has experienced this not only in the way he was treated during his transition, but in the way that diversity is accepted generally.
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